


Picture Perfect

by charity_hope



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Domestic, Established Relationship, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:56:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4968901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charity_hope/pseuds/charity_hope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But now daddy harry don smile anymore. Some peopel put daddy loueh in a box and keep him in the ground. Daddy harry say daddy lueh hav gone to see god. I hope god don keep daddy lueh too long. I miss him and i want to see him too. Daddy harry cry again when i say this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Picture Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! 
> 
> This fic is my baby. I put so much emotions in this and I'm still trying to get over my own attachment to the characters, especially little Aiden.
> 
> Please read and let me know what you think!
> 
> Title Credit : Picture Perfect by Escape the Fate

_Dear god,_  
  
_Everyone hav one daddy. I hav two._  
  
_Someone says it weird i hav two daddys but my daddys say they just don undrestan. Daddys love each oter and daddys love me._  
  
_I love daddys too._  
  
_Jeremy always laffs at me because i don hav a mommy. But i don wont a mommy becos i have daddys. I don wont mommy becos mommys always cry like nancys mommy. Nancy mommy cry when nancy spils her drink on her ugly dress. Nancys mommy also cry when nancy dance at the school show. Daddy harry also sometimes cry when i win in soccer or when i sing in coir. But daddy lueh say its ok for a boy to cry. So i think daddy harry is ok._  
  
_Daddy harry always make me choclat pancake every morning. He say good breakfast is imprtant. Daddy lueh teach me to play ball. I am better at kicking than him. He always miss the goal._  
  
_I love both my daddys. They always sing to me before i go to sleep. And they hug and kiss me. They also always kiss each oter. Auntie perrie say they're gross. But i think jeremy picking his nose and eat his booger is more gross._  
  
_I love when daddy lueh kiss daddy harry because daddy harry always get happy and he always smile. Daddy lueh also smile when daddy harry smile._  
  
_I love when my daddys smile._  
  
_But now daddy harry don smile anymore. Some peopel put daddy loueh in a box and keep him in the ground. Daddy harry say daddy lueh hav gone to see god. I hope god don keep daddy lueh too long. I miss him and i want to see him too. Daddy harry cry again when i say this._  
  
_Now no one wont to play ball wit me. Uncle niall always come and daddy harry will cry again._  
  
_So god, i hope you will return daddy lueh to us becos i wont to see daddy harry smile again._  
  
_And we can be happy._  
  
_Sinsierly_  
 _Aiden_

 

_-_

 

"No!" Harry says, shaking his head, not believing a word the doctor tells him. He staggers backward, his arms flailing trying to find something to steady him but he only comes in contact with the wall. "No. You're lying."  
  
"I'm sorry, Mr. Styles. We tried our best but the collision had caused severe damage to his lungs and we couldn't stop the bleeding. I'm truly sorry." With the hand not touching the wall, Harry pushes at the doctor that is trying to comfort him. He doesn't need anyone else's hands right now.  
  
He just wants Louis'.  
  
Harry slides down onto the floor, leaning his back against the wall and brings his knees up before hugging them snuggly against his chest. He then hides his face between his knees, willing for this nightmare to go away.  
  
How does anyone expect him to go on with his life after this? A life without Louis  
  
"Daddy?" the voice makes Harry lifts his head and he looks up at the looming figure in front of him.  
  
Liam is standing in front of him, sympathy and sadness written all over his face. In his arms, he's holding a five year old boy. He has bright blue eyes and shaggy brown hair that glows under the fluorescent light. The boy wriggles against Liam's hold so Liam has to put him down. After he's free, he immediately goes to Harry and takes Harry's hand into his small ones.  
  
"Why is daddy sad?" asks the boy, his tone innocent and Harry finds himself crying harder as he pulls the boy into a tight embrace.  
  
How does anyone expect Aiden to survive without Louis? _  
  
-  
  
_Harry couldn't hear anything but the sound of his own beating heart. Louis stood next to him, frozen in place, eyes wide in total disbelief. Through the looking glass, they could see the tiniest little baby they had ever seen wrapped in a cute yellow baby blanket with A.T. initials engraved on the corner.__  
  
_Aiden Tomlinson._  
  
_Harry snaked his arm around Louis' waist, pulling the man closer. He leaned down, pressed his lips against Louis' hair and inhaled the scent of lavender shampoo Louis used. Louis let his body go pliant against Harry, slowly, a smile spread across his lips._  
  
_"You ready?" Louis asked, excitement and happiness radiated through him like a sun and Harry kept this image of Louis smiling so wide he was scared his face would split into two into mind, along with so many precious moments they shared together._  
  
_Harry nodded, reached one hand down to interlace his fingers with Louis'. One thing Harry loved about holding Louis' hand was how much they fit together. Louis' small hand engulfed in Harry's bigger one looked so perfect, so meant to be._  
  
_Together, both of them entered the room. There were rows and rows of cribs with babies in them, sleeping soundlessly. But the two men only had one in their eyes and they made their way straight to the first crib on the leftmost corner of the room._  
  
_The baby was sleeping, one of his hands curled into a tiny fist and tucked under his left cheek. His little chest moved slowly up and down as he breathed and Harry instantly fell in love. Louis tentatively reached down and Harry encouraged him by putting his palm reassuringly on Louis's back as he picked up the baby carefully. He didn't even stir, probably sensing that he was safe in Louis' arms. Babies have that kind of instincts. When Louis looked up at Harry, his eyes were moist, his lips curled up into the brightest smile._  
  
_Louis touched Aiden's soft lips with the tip of his finger gently, making the baby stir lightly and opened his tiny mouth in a yawn. His eyes flickered slowly, they opened revealing blue eyes similar to Louis' own._  
  
_"Oh, my god," Louis gasped, his tone full of awe. Aiden's fingers uncurled and then they wrapped themselves around Louis' pointer finger, gripping tight. "I love you," Louis whispered, leaning down and planted a soft kiss on the baby's forehead. "I love you," Louis said as he looked up at Harry, tears now dropping down his cheeks. Tears of happiness. Harry felt his own eyes starting to tear up._  
  
_"I love you too," Harry replied, wrapping his arms around Louis from the back and peeked at the little bundle of joy in Louis' arms. Harry made a promise to himself to keep Aiden as safe and sound as possible. "Our family."_  
  
_"Our family," Louis echoed, never taking his eyes off Aiden._  
  
-  
  
Harry lets the tears stream down his face. He buries his face on the pillow, inhaling the scent that is almost faded now. The space cold and empty. The room is too quiet, the usual sleepy mumbles and soft snores no longer present. The digital clock on the night stand glows green LED that reads 3:00 a.m. Harry has been awake for almost an hour now, unable to go back to sleep after the nightmare.  
  
The turns to his other side, looking at the framed photo on the bedside table through the dim light filtered through the window. The picture was taken on Aiden's first birthday party. Aiden standing in front of a big car-themed cake with an excited smile on his little face, his chubby cheeks lifting up cutely. Louis and Harry next to him, their faces are next to Aiden's and their smiles match each other.  
  
Fresh tears start accumulating in his eyes. He reaches out and takes the frame, hugging it against his chest. He will never see that smile again, those crinkling eyes and small teeth. Harry just wants to have Louis curled up behind him, whispering sweet nothings in his ears and making promises that everything will be okay.  
  
But he knows it won't happen. A week has passed since Louis' funeral and Harry still can't get used to not having him around. Of course they had been away from each other for a stretch of time before, with their career and other activities. But this time is different because this time Harry knows Louis will not be coming back to him.  
  
The sound of soft whimpers from the baby monitor makes Harry's ears perk up as he sits up. The sound then turns into soft sobs and small cries.  
  
Aiden!  
  
Harry puts the photo frame back on its original position and gets up from the bed, quickly making his way towards Aiden's nursery just across the hall.  
  
When Harry opens the door, his eyes immediately land on a figure lying in foetal position on the bed in the middle of the room. Aiden has his favorite Ben-10 blanket covering his body up to his neck. Below his fee lies a brown Labrador, sleeping. However, upon hearing the sound of someone entering the room, the dog's ears perk up and he wakes, looking around protectively. He however whimpers submissively when he realises that it's only Harry and lies his head back down between his paws.  
  
“Hey, Batman,” Harry whispers, scratching the back of Batman’s ear. He then rounds the bed and gets closer to Aiden. His heart breaks into pieces when he sees that Aiden is actually still asleep but he’s crying in his sleep. There are tears running down his cheeks, his nose red and his mouth opens a little as he lets out tiny sobs. “Hey, sunshine,” Harry calls out, brushing Aiden’s hair out of his sticky forehead.  
  
Harry frowns. How can Aiden be so sweaty even though it’s such a cool night? He puts his palm on the boy’s forehead and his frown deepens. No, definitely not feverish. “Aiden?” Harry touches Aiden’s shoulder and shakes lightly. Aiden whines and sniffles before his eyelids move, indicating he’s awaking. His eyes flutter open and he blinks a few times before focusing on Harry.  
  
“Daddy,” he says, voice soft and quiet. Then, his lower lips trembles before he jumps onto Harry, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck tightly. Instinctively, Harry holds the boy close, kissing the top of his head and whispers that everything is okay, he’s got him now. “I miss Daddy Louis.” Aiden’s voice is so quiet but Harry can hear it as clear as a day.  
  
He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, stopping it from trembling and wills for his own tears not to fall. “Come on, sleep with me,” he says instead as he lifts up Aiden, letting the boy to wrap his legs around Harry’s waist. Harry then carries Aiden into the room he used to share with Louis, Batman following close behind, wagging his tail. Aiden has the Ben-10 blanket clutched tightly against his chest because Louis got that for him.  
  
Harry lays Aiden onto the bed, on Louis’ side and tucks him in, kissing his forehead and lets his lips linger. He climbs onto the bed next to Aiden, pulling the little boy close to him and lets Batman gets onto the bed to press close against Aiden’s other side. The dog seems to sense that the little boy needs all the comfort and reassurance he can get.  
  
“Daddy?” Aiden calls in the dead silence of the night. Harry hums, indicating that he’s listening. “Where do those bad guys put Daddy Louis in a hole?” The innocence of the question feels like a blade slashing through Harry’s heart, making it bleed everywhere. How can Harry make this small, innocent boy understand something about death and loss without scarring him for life?  
  
“They’re not bad guys, sunshine. They just took Daddy Louis to see someone,” Harry starts carefully, his fingers absentmindedly play with Aiden’s soft dark hair that he inherits from Louis. Aiden burrows further against Harry’s touch, extending one small arm to wrap around Harry’s waist but it isn’t long enough so he just drapes it across Harry’s stomach.  
  
“Who?” He looks up, blue eyes shining in the dark. Looking at Aiden feels like looking at mini-Louis and Harry feels his heart cured a little at the sight. Another kiss lands on the boy’s forehead as Harry brings him closer.  
  
“God. Daddy Louis goes to see God,” Harry replies.  
  
“Doesn’t he love us anymore? Why he goes to see God for so long and not come back?” Moisture starts to pool in the boy’s eyes again. Harry quickly shushes him and kiss his cheek.  
  
“Sometimes God loves someone so much that He takes them to him.” Batman has started snoring on Aiden’s side, one of his front paws drapes protectively across the boy’s back. “Daddy Louis is looking down at us now.” Aiden yawns, wriggling a little to get more comfortable and jostling Batman awake at the same time, making the dog barks a little. Harry can’t help but smile a little, tucking Aiden under his arm so the small boy can use his arm as a pillow because he knows Aiden likes that.  
  
“Will we go see God too?” Aiden asks, his voice has gone softer. Batman whimpers, covering both his ears with his paws and looks at the boy with round, shiny eyes. Harry uses his other hand to rub gently at Batman’s tummy, making the Labrador to wriggles his tail excitedly and barks some more.  
  
“We will but I hope it’s not soon,” Harry replies. Aiden’s eyes are now on half-mast and he rubs at them and blinks, willing himself to stay awake. Harry finds it very endearing and is reminded of all those late nights with Louis where the older man always tried to stay awake even though he was tired. “I’m just not done looking at your face. How can I do that if I close my eyes and sleep?” he would say. At the memory, a drop of tears fall down Harry’s cheek and he quickly hides that side of his face with his pillow, not wanting Aiden to see him crying. He needs to be strong, for Aiden’s sake. He needs to be strong for both of them.  
  
“Why?” Aiden asks, his eyes almost closing now, his tiny fist gripping tightly at his blanket.  
  
“Because I’m not ready to lose you too,” Harry answers softly, pulling Aiden close, so close that the boy is snug against Harry’s chest but he just hums in content, spreading his arms to hold Harry back. “I love you, little sunshine,” Harry whispers as Aiden’s eyes close.  
  
“I love you too, Daddy,” Aiden replies, his voice drifting off. “You too, Daddy Louis,” he continues as an afterthought and a few seconds later, Harry hears small snores coming from him. Harry takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes.  
  
“I love you, Louis,” Harry whispers to no one but he’s sure it’ll reach the one person he wants to hear the words the most.

 

_-_

 

 _ _Harry curled his hands into fists and let them fall rigid on his sides. His body is trembling inside out, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Louis who was standing right in front of him, eyes red and unfocused. Aiden was curled up on the sofa, sleeping soundlessly with Batman snuggled close against him. Louis stumbled further into the living room, his walk unsteady and he giggled at the way the room seemed to spin around him and he could see two Harrys. Yeay!  
  
“Hey!” Louis slurred, kicking his shoes haphazardly and let them lay carelessly on the floor. Harry took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment and counted to ten, waiting for his heartbeat to return to normal. Louis staggered forward, putting his hand on the back of the couch to steady himself, stupid grin still plastered on his flushed face.  
  
“Where were you?” Harry asked, wrapping his arms around his torso, careful with his tone so he wouldn’t wake up Aiden. The boy had refused to go up to bed and wanted to wait for Louis to come home. It was now two in the morning and Aiden had fallen asleep on the couch for hours. Every time Harry tried to lift him to take him to bed, he would whine and refuse, still stubbornly wanting to wait for his Daddy Louis. One of the things Aiden inherited from Louis, his stubbornness.  
  
Louis stopped grinning, sensing the tension radiating from Harry. A frown appeared on his face however in his drunken state, he looked stupid and confused. Harry rolled his eyes. “You know where,” Louis replied in a slurred voice. Harry started tapping his left foot on the carpeted floor, starting to get impatient.  
  
“You were supposed to come home hours ago. You  _promised_  that you’d eat dinner with us.” Harry couldn’t help the way his voice raised slightly and he felt his blood boil more when Louis just gave him a dismissive eye roll.  
  
“What’s the big deal? It’s just a dinner,” Louis said, trying to straighten his posture but it was obvious that he was still too drunk. Once again Harry tried the breathing technique he had learned from the internet however this time, he just couldn’t find it in himself to be calm.  
  
“It’s Aiden’s  _birthday_  dinner!” Harry immediately stopped talking when he realised Aiden had started to stir slightly, the boy turning onto his side and popped a thumb into his mouth. Harry let out a sigh of relieved when Aiden continued sleeping, Batman pressed snugly against his front. He wiped his face with his right hand and put it under his chin, shaking his head.  
  
Aiden’s birthday wasn’t in another two weeks but they had promised to celebrate it early, just the three of them before they went on the road again. Of course Aiden wouldn’t understand if Louis missed this dinner since he was only turning one year old but Harry would remember and he didn’t want that to be one of the memories he had to keep while Aiden was growing up.  
  
“His birthday isn’t in another two fucking weeks. Stop being dramatic.” Louis rolled his eyes again but the action seemed to make him lose his balance as he staggered backward a little. Holding his head, Louis cursed. “And he won’t even remember.”  
  
“I will remember, Louis! We will remember! And I don’t want the only memory I have of his first birthday is of you coming home too drunk to care about your own son!” By now, Harry couldn’t stop his voice from rising, his emotions getting the best of him.  
  
At the loud noise, Aiden stirred and started crying, even though his eyes were still closed. Both Louis Harry hurried to pick the boy up but Harry was quicker since he was sober, leaving Louis staggering on his own feet. He picked up Aiden and cradled him close to his chest and moving him away from Louis, not trusting the man to be able to hold the child in his state. At Aiden’s cry, Batman also had woken up and started yapping, wriggling his tail, looking at his two older owners as if sensing the tension between the two.  
  
"He's not even your real son!" Louis yelled, his voice rising above the sound of Aiden crying and Batman barking. As if the time had been suspended, Louis and Harry froze, both equally shocked at Louis' outburst. Harry gritted his teeth, holding Aiden tighter, pushing the back of Aiden’s head lightly so the boy's face is buried against his chest. Louis opened his mouth, as if wanting to say something but Harry shook his head, his face a mixture of hurt and disappointment.  
  
Louis closed his mouth watching Harry turning around, his back to Louis. Aiden was still crying even though his sobs were muffled against Harry's sweater. "Act like a real father, then," Harry said, his voice low and flat. As Harry walked towards the stairs with Aiden in his arms and Batman tailing behind him, Louis watched.  
  
"Fuck!" Harry heard Louis cursed and the sound of something thrown onto the wall. Harry shook his head, taking Aiden into his room and now out of Louis sight, he let tears to flow freely down his cheeks.  
  
Harry laid Aiden down onto the bed, shushing the little boy as he sobbed and clang on Harry's neck, refusing to let go. Batman had taken his place on the small rug near the bed, watching the two silently. "Sleep tight, little sunshine," Harry whispered, planting a soft, chaste kiss on Aiden's forehead and wiped his tears stained cheeks.  
  
Harry hummed softly a song he had composed solely for Aiden and never made it into any of their albums. It was for Aiden and for Aiden only, his little sunshine. Louis was wrong. Aiden was his  **real**  son. Maybe it was true, Aiden didn't come from his sperm, didn't have his DNA, his genes. But he was  **Harry's son**. What did blood relation mean when he could love Aiden just as much as his real biological father could?  
  
Aiden closed his eyes and unwound his hold on Harry's neck but still had one fist curled tight around Harry's wrist as a soft hiccup escaped from his lips. It took a few minutes before Aiden finally fell asleep again, silent and quiet, the sound of him breathing and the rise and fall of his chest gave a calming effect to Harry. He had to get on his knees and crouched over Aiden since the boy's bed was too small for him and he was positive he would have a crick on his spine when he stood up but it was okay. Looking at Aiden's peaceful, beautiful face made it all okay.  
  
Harry couldn't tell how long he had been kneeling there, watching as Aiden slept deeper and deeper. Harry's fingers slowly combed through Aiden's soft hair as he felt his eyes started to get moist again. Biting his lower lip, he stopped the small sob that was about to make its way past his lips. He stayed where he was even as he heard the sound of the door creaking and soft footsteps padded towards him. He shrugged Louis' hand off his shoulder as Louis touched him, tentative and unsure.  
  
“He’s my son too,” Harry whispered, letting fresh tear slip down his cheek. Louis didn’t say anything for a while, just getting on his knees next to Harry, pressing his body close to Harry’s side. Harry didn’t have the energy to push away and to be honest, he didn’t want to. No matter how much he was mad at the man, Louis’ touch would always make him feel better.  
  
“I know,” Louis replied, voice equally quiet. Harry could no longer smell alcohol in his breath, only mint and when he looked at Louis, he saw that Louis’ hair was slightly damp and limp on his head, his eyes still red but he didn’t look quite as drunk. “I know. I’m sorry.” Louis raised up one arm and curled it around Harry’s waist, pulling the younger man closer. He then pressed a kiss on Harry’s temple. “I’m sorry,” he murmured against Harry’s skin.  
  
“He  **is**  my son,” Harry said again because he wanted Louis to understand that. Louis  **needed**  to understand that.  
  
“I know,” was all Louis replied and both of them stayed quiet after that, watching the slow rise and fall of Aiden’s chest. There was a soft, little smile curving at the corner of the boy’s lips as he burrowed closer into his Pikachu blanket._  
  
-  
  
_“Aiden?” Harry calls out to the empty living room, frowning. Usually at this time of the day, the boy will be playing with his toys in the living room, making a mess with Batman close by his side. He walks further into the room and makes his way straight to the back lounge. And there, at the sliding door leading to the backyard, Aiden sits on the porch with Batman on his lap.  
  
As Harry walks closer to the little boy, he realises that Aiden has been talking and not to Batman. He can’t make out the words that Aiden mutters under his breath and Harry knows that it is normal for a child Aiden’s age to have an imaginary friend but he can’t help but to feel concerned, especially when he recalls the conversation he has with Aiden’s kindergarten teacher just now.  
  
“I know this is a hard time for Aiden and your family, Mr. Styles. But I am worried. Aiden seems lost in his own world lately. He doesn’t play with his other friends and mostly he stays by himself. Sometimes, I hear him talking to himself. Also, there’s this letter that he wrote…”  
  
Harry stops there, doesn’t want to let himself start thinking about the content of the letter. He has to admit, Aiden has become quieter and quieter every day but he doesn’t know how to approach the boy. Aiden has always talked to him about everything, rambling endlessly about things that happened at school or about his friends and Batman’s antics the night before. But now, he rarely even sees the smile on that little face, let alone a laughter.  
  
“Little sunshine?” Harry calls again and finally noticing Harry’s presence, Aiden stops talking and turns around. Harry feels his heart drop to see the same devoid look in Aiden’s eyes, the same expressionless face he has. Aiden used to be such an animated child, always gets excited at the smallest things. Now, though, now it feels like he’s losing the sparks and he is so little, so young and Harry wants to bring back that smile, that glimmer of life but he doesn’t know how!  
  
Batman lets out a low whimper from where he is resting on Aiden’s lap, his tail wriggling and even the little dog seems to know that something is wrong since he isn’t as energetic as he used to be. Harry forces a smile onto his face, hoping that it will coax the same expression on Aiden but he is disappointed when Aiden just turns his face and absently rubs at Batman’s head. He however doesn’t let that deter him from trying to get through Aiden so he walks further and sits next to the boy. He sees Aiden’s beat up football lays uselessly against the side of his right ankle and it looks so lonely.  
  
“You want to play football with me?” Harry asks, raising his hand to run his fingers through Aiden’s soft hair. The boy doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head no, eyes still staring ahead into spaces. “Why?”  
  
“You don’t know how to play,” Aiden mumbles and this time, the smile that is curled on Harry’s lips is no longer forced. Aiden is right. He doesn’t know how to play football. He is shit at it. “Daddy Louis knows how to play. He is good.” At the mention of Louis, Harry feels like the air has been punched out of his lungs, his eyes start to burn a little. Aiden looks up at the sky, his blue eyes blinking. “You said Daddy Louis is up there, watching me. I call him to come down and play with me. He never comes.”  
  
“That’s…” Harry starts but his voice breaks so he has to clear his throat and blinks his eyes. “That’s who you’ve been talking too?” he asks. “Daddy Louis?” Aiden nods but still doesn’t look at Harry. He lifts Batman off his lap and places the dog down before standing up. He kicks at the ball weakly, watching as it rolls away a few feet and stops from the friction.  
  
“He never comes,” Aiden repeats before sniffling a little. Then, he turns around and enters the house, leaving Harry alone with Batman who is looking at his older owner with round, shiny eyes. He barks a few times, as if trying to say to Harry that yes, he knows what Harry is thinking and nuzzles his nose against the rough fabric of Harry’s jeans before running away to follow Aiden.  
  
“Oh, Louis, why’d you have to go?” Harry asks softly to himself, burying his face between his knees and finally let the tears he has been holding to roll freely down his cheeks.  
  
The wind blows softly, making Harry’s hair to fall down and covers his face as he continues crying, his chest aching, his heart feels like it has been tugged out of his chest, leaving a dark, empty void the size and shape of Louis. _  
  
-  
  
_Harry’s eyes blinked open slowly, the sliver of light coming from the split between the curtains shone straight to his eyes, blinding him temporarily. Grunting, he rolled onto his stomach and extended his arm to the body next to him but frown when said body wasn’t there. Patting the empty space a few times to make sure that Louis really wasn’t there, Harry’s eyes opened fully as he sat up, his frown deepening. He glanced at the digital clock on the table next to the bed and saw that it was only eight in the morning. It was still too early for Louis’ standard.__  
  
_Rubbing the gunk from his eyes, Harry pulled the cover off of him and was about to get off the bed when suddenly the door opened and Louis came in with a tray in his hands. Louis’ lips split into a wide smile when he saw that Harry was awake as he padded towards the bed, balancing the tray precariously as not to spill the contents on it. Louis’ eyes were red-rimmed and he was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a worn-out T-shirt, his hair sticking out all over his face but Harry still thought Louis was the most beautiful person in the whole world._  
  
_He put the tray on the bedside table and climbed onto the bed, straddling Harry. “Morning,” Louis said, voice slightly hoarse and pressed a chaste kiss before scrunching up his face. “Why don’t you brush your teeth and we can have breakfast in bed, yes?” he continued, bobbing his head towards the tray which contained two cups of tea and a plate of slightly burned toasts. Next to the plate, there was also an A4 sized envelope which made Harry raise his eyebrows at Louis questioningly but the older man just shook his head and mumbled “later,” against Harry’s hair._  
  
_Harry was still slightly confused but still he complied. So he got up and went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. When he came back into the room, he saw that Louis had placed the tray on the bed, leaving the envelope on the table._  
  
_“You’re up early,” Harry commented, picking up a toast and tore a piece of it before putting it in his mouth. Louis shrugged but didn’t say anything for a moment as he took a drink of his warm tea, the steam still rose from the cup._  
  
_“Something had just arrived in the mail,” Louis replied, his eyes darting towards the envelope. Harry reached out a hand and let it hovered a few centimetres above the envelope, eyeing Louis, silently asking for permission to take it which the older man responded with a curt nod. He picked it up and after putting the toast back onto the plate, Harry pulled out a neatly stacked of papers._  
  
_“What is it?” Harry asked, his eyes skimming over the words written on the first page of the papers, catching some legal phrases and as he read further, he felt as if his heart was about to leap out of his throat. “Louis… is this…?” He didn’t finish his sentence and just raised his head, looking at Louis with eyes shining with hope and disbelief._  
  
_“After you sign that, you’ll be Aiden’s legal guardian.” Louis put his cup on the saucer and moved the tray away, putting it back on the nightstand and took Harry’s hand into his, looking into Harry’s eyes resolutely. “I’m really sorry about what I said the other day. You know I’m an idiot when I’m drunk but that was so uncalled for. Aiden is and will always be your son no matter what. I’ve been thinking a lot lately.” He stopped there, took those papers from Harry and leafed through it. “If anything were to happen to me, I know you will protect him with all that you have.” Harry was about to protest, to tell Louis to stop being so morbid and nothing was ever going to happen to him but the older man just shook his head and continued to speak. “So I called my lawyer and had him arrange this.”_  
  
_“Louis…” Harry started but he didn’t know what to say so he just threw himself onto Louis and kissed Louis squarely on the mouth, trying to convey everything that he was feeling into that one kiss. His heart was just about to explode in his chest and he knew how sorry Louis was about that fight, being a perfect father for Aiden as if to make up for everything. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against Louis’, his eyes brimming with tears. “I love you,” he finally finished, knowing that in those three words, Louis could understand everything that he wasn’t able to express at the moment._  
  
_“I love you too,” Louis replied and once again sealed Harry’s lips with his, taking Harry’s bottom lip into his mouth and troubled it between his teeth. Blindingly, Harry took the papers and set it aside as he gathered Louis against his body, letting Louis climb onto his lap as the kiss deepened._  
  
-  
  
Harry lets his eyes rest on Aiden who is silently drawing something on a piece of blank paper with deep blue crayon before he turns back to look at Niall. Niall leans back against the sofa, bending one of his knees up to hug against his chest and folds his other leg under his thigh. “He misses Louis,” Harry says softly and lets the rest of his words hang in the air. I miss Louis. He doesn’t need to say it, the blonde already knows.  
  
“We all miss him,” Niall says finally after a beat, his lips curl up into a comforting smile. “Maybe all you need is a closure,” the blonde continues after a moment of silence. Harry raises his head at that, shooting Niall a questioning look. “Say a final goodbye. You never did that, didn’t you? You even refused to go to the funeral.”  
  
Harry brings both knees up and presses them against his chest, biting on the tip of his thumb. He starts to shake his head as he rocks his body back and forth, fresh tears start accumulating in his eyes again. These days, there haven’t been a day when Harry’s eyes are completely dry. The simplest thing can set him off and he knows he should be stronger, Aiden needs him but now Niall is here, he is allowed to crumble, he knows Niall can help him. Niall will not let him fall.  
  
“I don’t know if I can,” Harry mumbles around his thumb, eyes flicking towards Aiden. Every day, when he looks at the little boy, he is reminded of Louis. That boy resembles his father, from his shaggy brown hair to his bright blue eyes and cute little nose. With the boy close, the pain of the loss becomes too big to bear because he is constantly reminded of what he once had and what he now has lost.  
  
Niall puts his leg down and scoots closer to Harry, wrapping the younger man’s shoulders warmly and rubs his upper arm tenderly. “You can. We will be there with you. Liam and Zayn are just a call away. We will come with you if you need us to.” Harry has always been grateful for his band mates, he really has. But it’s moment like this that makes him realise that he is indeed lucky to be blessed with these wonderful men that he can call his friends, hisbrothers.  
  
“Me too.” Aiden’s small voice catches Harry’s attention and when he lifts his head, Aiden is standing in front of him, his drawing paper held tight against his chest. “I’m here for you, Daddy Harry.” Harry doesn’t say anything, can’t find anything to say so he pulls Aiden into a tight embrace, and shamelessly lets his tears fall freely down his face. When he pulls off, Aiden hands Harry his drawing, now slightly crumpled from the way it is trapped between Aiden’s and Harry’s body a while ago.  
  
Harry wipes his tears and takes the drawing, inhaling a sharp intake of breath to see the childish squiggles of Aiden’s drawing. There are three stick figures on the paper. Two of them – one tall with unruly curly hair and the other one shorter with shorter hair – stand side by side, holding hand under a big tree while the other stick figure is hidden behind some clouds. “You says Daddy Louis is up there,” Aiden says as a way of explanation, pointing towards the stick figure on the clouds.  
  
“Oh, my little sunshine,” Harry says, gently running his fingers through Aiden’s hair and places a soft kiss on the boy’s forehead. “This is a beautiful drawing.” And then he looks at Niall, his lips form a little smile. “Maybe I will go, yeah,” he decides and Niall returns his smile before pulling his best friend into a big hug.  
  
Harry knows that his life is never going to be the same, not when Louis isn’t around. And he knows at times, it will be too hard for him to get up from the bed to go on with his day when the feeling of loss becomes too painful. But he knows, Louis is still there with him. Louis lives within Aiden, Harry’s little sunshine, the light of Harry’s life. Harry sees Louis in Aiden’s eyes, sees Louis in the way he mumbles in his sleep. And Harry knows Louis has left him the most precious thing ever, a part of himself.  
  
Maybe now he’s ready to say his goodbye.  
  
-The End-


End file.
